I’m still here

Just a quick note to let the world know I am still here. I went in for my third procedure on the arterial vascular malformation in my foot, knitting in tow. I didn’t however, get to knit as much as I would’ve liked. This was by far my most painful procedure. Just before heading to the operating room, the Dr. said it was very likely that much of my pain leading up to this third procedure was due to a secondary condition because of not being able to walk properly my foot likely has plantar fasciitis also. I had to stay on oxygen and the pain meds just kept coming with not the greatest results the first day. Hopefully, the other experts being brought on board to cover my secondary condition will help me kick some of these drugs I now have to take to get through the day and sleep some at night. I did knit wash cloths at the hospital and gave them to the nurses until I ran out, passed on knitting websites and shared some of my favorite books. I love that no matter where I am knitting will connect with me someone, whether it’s a gift passed on, a shared passion, an introduction to a great past time or just the knowledge that knitting can visibly relax someone in pain. I am glad that God has given me this ability to create and to share my creations. Now I am working through my fog of pain to push on with my knitting and hopefully not make too many mistakes because all this tearing out is discouraging, I will press on and in my fog finish something more…..and here in my fog I almost forgot I managed to knit two hats in three days….I will knit my way out of the fog.

Now a little description about the first hat.  My very good friend, Amanda, came by to visit me and mentioned it was hat night at her church’s Wednesday night program.  Having five kids of her own, she mentioned she needed to find a hat for one of her boys.  Well, I couldn’t resist and in my drug induced stupor I hopped around on my crutch positive we could find the right yarn to match his coat and of course I could whip out a hat for her son.  I am not sure what I was thinking but it worked.  We found the yarn and amid some fun conversation, always fun while medicated, the hat was completed….just in time for her to run out the door and get her kids to church.  I have decided one of the hardest things about being unable to get around, is not feeling needed.  I am sure she would’ve found a hat, but it felt wonderful to feel needed, useful, productive….better than any painkiller taken that day.

Aidan’s hat

The second hat was a gift to my second son.  He left this weekend for his first youth group trip.  It is his first time being away for the weekend and he has outgrown his favorite elf hat I knit him.  I am happy he is growing up and I am even happier he proudly wore the hat I so lovingly knit for him.  Pictures will have to be added later.  I am seriously in awe that my kids love my knitting and wear it proudly…..it makes me feel loved knowing they are proud of my love….does that make sense…if not I’ll just blame the pain meds.  Time to stop rambling, thanks for reading.

Frustrated Day

Have you ever had days that were just frustrating for no specific reason, just frustrating. Today is that day. I know my foot pain is part of it. For no apparent reason, it has decided to get worse through out the day, not better, no matter how long I keep it elevated or which pain reliever I take. Maybe it is because I am tired. It doesn’t really matter, the day is about over and I am not pleased with what I have accomplished. I had high hopes for the knitting I would finish, the projects I would start and the movies I would watch. After reruns, a partially knitted dishcloth, and some games on Facebook, here I sit. Where do I turn when I am frustrated, apparently my blog….haha. I have turned to prayer, I realize not always as seriously as I should, but then I also realize how many others out there must feel the same too. So out of a need to belong, I am sharing my frustrations knowing that somewhere out there someone else is having a frustrating day. Knitting or not, some days are strange for all of us, even those who don’t take the time to read my blog. I will take comfort in the fact that I am not alone, and hope that I haven’t made too many of you drop my blog on your list of must reads, just because of my off day. Hope tomorrow is better….for all of us!

the dish cloth

 

Really??

Okay, now I have sunk to a new insane low point. I have finished knitting my first double-knitting project, my checkerboard. Now for the most ridiculous part of it. I don’t like to play checkers. It did not occur to me how silly it is that I actually knit something I really do not like to do. I have a long history of this. If you only knew how many doilies I have crocheted, wash cloths I have knit and sweaters I have made. Practically none of which I have used myself. I say practically, because I must admit to have using a wash cloth or two, and maybe one or two doilies. But in comparison to the quantity I have made and the degree to which I really don’t like them myself, I have to ask myself why do I make them??? To be honest, I don’t even know why. If anyone out there has any suggestions as to why, I am very curious, please let me know!!!! All right, sorry for my momentary, slip into insanity. I just had to share this. It hit me when I showed my niece my checkerboard, and I blurted out that I do not even like to play checkers. Maybe there is safety in knitting things I do not enjoy to begin with, in case I fail, then I did not put too much of myself into it and won’t be too heart broken. Who knows, at least I finished it.